Table of Contents
Chapter One: Searching the Source
* Possible Sources
* Learned Fears
* Friends and Family
* Tackling All Your Fears
Chapter Two: Finding Rationality
* What are Rational Fears?
* Realness of Irrational Fears
* Example – Public Speaking
* Tackling Irrational Fears
Chapter Three: The Power of Positive Thinking
* Practicing Gratitude
* How to Practice Gratitude
* Changing the Tone of Your Thoughts
Chapter Four: Therapies
* Talking Therapy
* Using Imagery
* Images for Motivation
Chapter Five: Challenge Yourself Everyday
* The Meditation Challenge
* Working Up to Bigger
* Challenging Yourself to Take Risks
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Chapter One: Searching the Source
Determining the source of your fears and anxieties is the first step that you will need to take in order to eventually be able to take control of your fears and manage them efficiently.
Knowing what is causing your fear is crucial to finding the solutions that you need, and at this point it is essential to prepare for some serious self-eval-uation as well as the need to be completely honest with yourself.
You should also be aware that you may need to revisit some unhappy memories, therefore it’s vital to choose a time when you are feeling calm, relaxed and energised before you begin to explore the reasons for your fear.
Discovering the reasons for your fear can also help to improve your confi-dence. For many people, not quite knowing why they’re scared of some-thing can lead to even more feelings of fear – have you ever been scared of fear itself? This is why it’s important to invest time to do some serious soul-searching and delve deep into your memories to discover the sources of your fears, even the worst ones.
In order to discover the source of your fears, it’s important to self-evaluate. This process involves asking yourself a number of different questions, such as what your biggest fears are, what triggers feelings of fear and anxiety in you and which memories invoke the most anxious feelings in you.
The process may be difficult and could take some time as you unearth memories that you may not want to remember, therefore it’s important to take your time, be kind to yourself and give yourself a lot of self-love. You may find it helpful to go through this process with a trusted friend, family member, or even a professional therapist.
An easy way to help you to determine the source of your fears is to write them all down on paper. No matter how small or insignificant you may be-lieve your fears to be, jot them all down in front of you, in order of the worst to the least.
Then, write down what you think may be the source of your fears next to them. For example, if you are afraid of driving due to being in an accident, write ‘driving – traffic accident’. If you come to a fear and you’re not sure why you feel it, don’t worry – just concentrate on the ones which you can determine the source of for now.
When it comes to the source of fear, there can be a range of different rea-sons. You may feel fear due to something that you have experienced your-self or a traumatic experience which you have been through. If you have been through a frightening experience, it’s highly likely that you’ll feel fear as a response to a similar situation or in fact anything which reminds you of it.
This is why it’s important to jot down the different things which trigger feel-ings of fear in you, as memories can stick around even from the earliest years of childhood – it’s not uncommon for people to still experience fear as a response to something reminding them of a situation that they experi-enced as a young child.
Along with things which you have experienced, other people’s experiences and fears can also contribute to your own emotions and determine what you are fearful of. You may find yourself fearful of certain things even if you yourself have no reason to be as the result of influence from somebody who you are close with.
Take this as an example. Let’s imagine a little girl who is bitten by a dog. Al-though she is not seriously hurt, the incident is painful and quite traumatic for her, and because of it she develops a fear of dogs which remains with her as she grows up and she remains scared of dogs well into her adult life.
As an adult, she has a child. Still fearful of dogs, she won’t let her child play with any dogs and crosses to the other side of the road with her child if she sees a dog walker approaching. Because of this fear, her child learns that dogs are to be feared; subsequently growing up scared of dogs themselves even though they have not personally had a bad experience with any dogs at all.
Think about some of your fears – do you feel them because of a parent or sibling who does? Growing up, was your mom or dad scared of flying, go-ing to the dentist, or did an older sibling display fears of a certain animal because of a bad experience that they had? Some fears can be learned from others, and it is important to distinguish these learned fears from the fears which you have developed due to your own experiences.
Friends and Family
Some people can also develop fears due to something that they have seen a close friend or family member go through. For example, you might see a close friend crash their car and spend a long time recovering from their in-juries.
Even though you may not have been directly involved yourself, the trauma of sharing in their experience as a friend and seeing first-hand what they have been through could be enough for you to develop your own fears re-garding driving.
It’s important to understand that this type of fear is normal – just because something hasn’t happened to you directly, understanding how it feels due to being close to someone who has experienced it is likely to invoke feel-ings of fear and anxiety in many of us.Other Details
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