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This is not always easy to do but certainly worth the effort. Think back to a time when you didn’t feel the need to compare yourself with others. Write this down in your journal and keep thinking about the time when you started to make regular comparisons.
This is powerful because it can help to identify the root causes behind your comparison habit. For example you may have compared yourself to your sister in a negative way because you felt that she got more attention from your parents than you did.
Often people do not realize the damage that negative comparisons do to them. When you write down how a comparison makes you feel then you will develop the necessary motivation to change this destructive habit.
Most people take the things that they already have in their life for granted. So we recommend that you record a gratitude statement in your journal every day. This will certainly help you to focus on yourself more than you do others.
Think about the positive things in your life that you are truly grateful for. You are healthy, you have a loving relationship, you have wonderful children, you have great family and friends, you have a job so that you can pay your bills and so on.
Write down three things that you are grateful for in your journal every day. When you do this reflect on how lucky you are to have them. Use statements like “I am so grateful to have my health” or “I am so grateful to have my family”. This will help you to realize that there are a lot more things in your life that are more important than having a new car for example.
One of the real downsides of comparing yourself in a negative way to others is that you identify reasons why you are not as good as they are. This is nonsense of course but in the moment these feelings are very strong.
This can result in you beating yourself up severely and telling yourself that you are not good enough, useless or worse. Instead of doing this praise yourself for who you are and how far you have come. This will put you in a positive frame of mind and inspire you to do more with your life.
Never forget that you are in control of your life. It can be really difficult to stop comparing yourself to others in a bad way but the only person who can change your life for the better is you. So take responsibility to do that and stop letting others control you.
Stop worrying about what other people have in their lives. You are the most important person in your life and if you are not happy with things as they are then decide that you are going to change. The world does not owe you anything and neither does anyone else.
This is an essential step to prevent you from comparing yourself to others in an unhealthy way but it is also the toughest. You have built up this need to compare yourself over several years and these kinds of patterns are the hardest to break. But break them you must.
It will help you when you understand the process involved with making changes to your thoughts and behaviors. The process comprises of a number of stages that increase awareness of the problem and then implementing the necessary change for improved behavior.
The first of these stages is called pre-contemplation. At this stage you are not ready to make any changes and this is usually due to the fact that you do not have enough information about the problem and why you should change.
Next is the contemplation stage where you are thinking about making a change in your thoughts and behavior. You start to think about the positive aspects of making such a change while also realizing that this can be quite painful to do.
After contemplation comes preparation. When you are at this stage you have decided that you want to change and you are in the process of planning how you will do it. After this comes the action stage, where you start to make the necessary effort to implement the change.
The final two stages are maintenance and termination. Maintenance is all about checking that the actions you took to implement the change are still working. You may need to make some tweaks to your thoughts and behavior here. Once the change is on auto pilot it has reached the termination stage.
If you are in the habit of idolizing others then you need to stop this. It is an unrealistic thing to do and fantasizing about others will get you nowhere. There is always more to another person than meets the eye. By idolizing someone you will only concentrate on the things that appeal to you and you do not see the whole person.
When you make unhealthy comparisons with others this leads to you experiencing negative thoughts about yourself. These negative thoughts can be very powerful and can drive your self esteem right down and even make you depressed.
When you experience negative thoughts after comparing yourself to someone else then take action immediately by using a positive thought to neutralize it. So for example if the negative thought is “I will never be as cool as her” use a positive thought such as “I am wonderful and can attract all the things that I want in my life”.
An alternative strategy is to think about something that you are good at that the other person isn’t. Let’s say that you know a person that is a very good writer. When you think about this you experience negative thoughts about your own writing capabilities.Other Details
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