Table of Contents
Introduction ….. 6
Chapter 1 – Acknowledging Your Cage… 8
Unlocking your cage….. 9
What you need to unlock… 10
Commitment … 10
Chapter 2 – Rediscovering Who You Are …. 12
Who are you, really? .. 13
Take it slowly 14
Re-introducing yourself ….. 15
Chapter 3 – Learning To Love Yourself 16
Respecting yourself…. 17
Self-love is not self-centered…. 18
Chapter 4 – Understanding Your Feelings .. 20
Awareness of your feelings …… 21
Your emotions and your relationships with others …… 22
Chapter 5 – Motivation When Stuck In A Rut ….. 24
The fire within you …… 25
Making motivation a habit . 27
Chapter 6 – Facing Your Fears. 29
Fear is just ‘False Evidence Appearing Real’ 30
Responding to your fears .. 31
Turning fear into power ….. 32
Chapter 7 – Surrounding Yourself With Positivity…. 34
Take charge of your thoughts .. 35
Project positivity .. 36
Positive people…. 37
Chapter 8 – Seeking Out Freedom. 39
What comes next after freedom? …. 40
Living life with a purpose… 41
Chapter 9 – Making Better Choices 43
Stop overthinking 44
Emotion versus logic .. 45
What if your decisions cause you to fail? …… 46
Chapter 10 – Living The Life You Want 48
Define your own meaning of success …. 49
Welcome change with open arms … 50
Conclusion …. 51
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Chapter 2 – Rediscovering Who You Are
“Whatever it takes to find the real you, don’t be daunted if the rest of the world looks on in shock.” – Stephen Richards
When you’ve been trapped in your cage for far too long, you tend to forget who you really are. You’ve become so used to pretending to be someone else that you feel like you don’t know yourself anymore. You’ve buried the real you so long ago, you feel like it’s going to be impossible to revive your old self now.
The good news is that when you finally get to unlock your cage, you can reconnect with the old you – the real you. You never really left, you were just hidden from view underneath all the different hats you had to wear.
Who are you, really?
When you come out of your cage, you’ll realize the world isn’t what it once was. Everything’s changed. Your old friends have probably all moved away and now live very different lives from yours. What you used to find interesting may no longer appeal to you.
Fortunately, there are quite a few ways you can get to know who you really are right at this very moment.
The first thing you need to figure out is who you really want to be and what you really want to do.
Sure, you may have other people dependent on you now, like your spouse and your kids, and your world revolves around them. But you don’t have to be just a wife and a mother, or a husband and a father. You can still be your own self!
You still have your own identity. But, the thing is, you’re not the same person anymore.
You’ve grown over the years – you’ve become more mature, you’ve become more experienced, you’ve become more knowledgeable about life. That’s who you need to discover – the YOU in these present times.
Take it slowly
Over time, you may have forgotten your desires and lost touch with your old self. Rushing your journey may scare you back into your cage. You don’t want that to happen. You want to liberate yourself!
Let the process of rediscovering yourself happen naturally. Explore your wants and your desires, and let the “real” you come out slowly. Take baby steps if necessary, and get reacquainted with who you really are. Take some ‘me’ time every day. Even just a few minutes a day can do wonders for you.
You can start a journal where you write down every little thing you can think of. Don’t worry if what you’re writing down seems silly. It’s okay, you’re the only one who’s going to read it!
Writing your thoughts down will help you figure out what you really want and who you really are. There’s something cathartic about writing, use it to help you get out of your shell.
You can also re-live your favorite memories, your favorite places, your favorite people, the favorite things you used to do way back when. What was it about those things that made you so happy and free? Is it possible for you to recreate those scenarios?
See if you can do that, and while it won’t be exactly the same as what you remember, it will still bring you plenty of joy. It will inspire you to continue doing more of the same things simply because it makes you happy!
Rediscovering yourself also means helping other people get to know the ‘new’ you as well. They don’t have to like you right away. In fact, some may even express anger or disappointment. But don’t let their opinions affect you, you’re no longer trapped in a cage where they can easily torment you. You’re free to go as you wish. If they don’t like the real you, then they’ll have to find a way to deal with it. You’re not anybody’s slave, you’re free to go after your desires and your dreams in life. You’re free, period. Spend time with people who will support the new and improved you. They’ll help you feel better about yourself. You can count on them when you need someone to remind you of why you needed to get out your cage in the first place.
Taking the first step out of the cage is always the hardest, but after that, it becomes easier to walk away from the old you.
As time goes by, the memories of your time in your self-imposed prison will become hazy. But don’t you forget it though! Let it serve as a reminder of what will happen if you lose sight of yourself again.
Chapter 3 – Learning To Love Yourself
“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” – Lucille Ball You love your family, your spouse, your children, your friends. But do you love yourself? Do you know what you want for yourself? Do you know who you really are?
If you’ve been hiding the real you for years, then it’s time to come out. There’s no benefit in pretending to be someone you’re not. You’re just pushing yourself deeper and deeper into your self-imposed prison. When you learn to love yourself, you’ll begin to see some changes you’ve never experienced before. You’ll learn to be freer with your choices. You
won’t pay as much attention to what other people are saying. You’ll learn to say what you really want to say.
The new you might come as a surprise to the people around you. But really, as long as you’re happy, then what they say or think about you shouldn’t matter. That’s the power of loving yourself!
You won’t be bounded by the old things that used to make you hate yourself. You’ll no longer care if you’re overweight, if you haven’t got perfect skin or pearly white teeth, or your hair naturally looks like a bird’s nest, or something superficial like that. You’ll be able to accept yourself for who you truly are.
When you learn to accept your imperfect self, you’ll open your eyes and see so many opportunities around you. You’ve missed these before because you were too busy pretending to be someone else.
With self-love comes self-respect. When you learn to respect yourself, you learn to respect your boundaries. You learn to put yourself on a pedestal whereas before you would have allowed others to walk all over you. You learn to follow what your heart desires and fulfill your own wishes. You no longer wait for other people to approve your decisions (you may, of course, seek their advice to make sure you’re making the right ones).
You no longer crave the opinion of others. In the past, you may have followed bad advice from people you respected, simply because you respected them more than you respected yourself.
You’ll realize you respect yourself when you finally learn the power of the word “no.” You’ll no longer allow yourself to become everyone’s favorite doormat. You’ll learn to stand up and fight for yourself.
At the same time, you will also learn how to start saying “yes.” “Yes” to things that will bring good tidings to you. “Yes” to opportunities that can help you reach your goals faster. “Yes” to new relationships with people who’ll respect you.
Ultimately, your self-respect will lead you to self-discipline. You learn the importance of building positive habits and letting go of bad ones. You’ll become a better person who has the power to influence others positively.
Self-love is not self-centered
Loving yourself is not the same as being narcissistic or being self-centered. Narcissists don’t love themselves, they love the image they have of themselves. An image where everything revolves around them. They are blind to their faults and their bad qualities.
When you love yourself, you are fully self-aware. You know both your good and bad traits. You embrace your feelings. You take care not to antagonize others and cause problems in relationships. In everything you do, you consider both sides of the coin.
When you’re self-centered, you want everyone to bow down to you. You want people to respect your space and your rights, and not reciprocate the favor. You feel entitled to everything, and when your wishes get denied, you lash out and play the role of a sorry victim.
Self-love teaches you to be more compassionate, not just towards yourself but towards others as well. You become your own best friend, and as your best friend, you learn to accept your own emotions. This, in turn, leads to better awareness towards other people’s emotions as well.
Since you’re more open to everyone around you, you appreciate everyone’s uniqueness. As your self-love grows, so does your love for others. This is when you truly become selfless.
You’ve got so much love within you that it overflows to everyone around you! It’s easy to forgive yourself, and as such, it becomes easier to forgive those who’ve slighted you, too.
Imagine what the world will be like if everyone loves themselves. The song “Love makes the world go round” will finally start making sense to you.Other Details
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