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Human beings do everything for a reason. What is the difference between a person that goes all out to achieve their dreams and someone that tries their best? Well the first person is completely driven – they are inspired and motivated to achieve their dreams no matter what. The second person is nowhere near as committed as this.
So what does all of this mean? What it means is that when you set your goals you need to have a strong reason as to why you want to achieve them. It has to be a strong reason because weaker reasons won’t cut it.
Here is an example. A woman decides that she wants to set a goal to lose 20 pounds in 3 months. She communicates this with her friends and family and they ask her why she wants to do this. She replies “I want to fit into that summer dress I bought a few years ago”.
This is a weak reason for her goal. How important is fitting into that summer dress really for her? It’s probably not that important right? OK she looked good in the dress and it cost her money but is this reason really going to motivate her to eat the right things and participate in an exercise routine every day?
Contrast this to a reason like “I want to lose those 20 pounds so I can feel super sexy and turn heads wherever I go”. Would that inspire and motivate you more than just fitting into an old dress? Of course it would!
Human Behavior is Driven by Emotion
We have thoughts in our heads and these make us feel a certain way. Some of these thoughts will stir strong emotions within us and make us take certain actions. A single man sees a beautiful girl at a party. He is captivated by her beauty and wants to get to know her. The thoughts in his head stir up different emotions.
On the positive side he can see himself walking around with this gorgeous girl on his arm. He would have so much love for her and literally do anything for her. The negative side of this is that he has seen several guys approach her and be rejected. Rejection is not something that he really wants to deal with. So what does he do? He plucks up the courage and goes over to her. He comments on how nice her hair looks and that she shouldn’t be alone. While he is doing this his body is preparing itself for the feeling of rejection but he pushes through this. The girl likes him and they spend the evening together.
Why did the man choose the positive emotion over the negative? He did this because the feelings were stronger to him. Stronger emotions will always trump weaker ones when it comes to our behavior.
Think about the woman that wanted to lose 20 pounds. It is her birthday and someone brigs a delicious birthday cake to her house. She is salivating over this cake but knows that she shouldn’t eat even the smallest portion of it. After all she wants to fit in that summer dress again.
She rationalizes all of this in her head and then thinks “who cares about the dress it’s my birthday!” And of course she will eat some of the cake and put her weight loss progress back considerably.
If she wanted to lose the weight to be sexy and turn heads then do you think that she would respond in a different way? We think that it is more likely that she will reject the offer of the cake if that is her reason for losing the weight. The emotion is very strong in this reason and it will probably win the day.
You need a Strong WHY
We have all done things where we had to push through the pain barrier or overcome very big obstacles to achieve something. The thing that gave us the strength and tenacity to do this was the reason “why” we were doing it.
It would certainly not have been easy for the man to approach the pretty woman at the party. Having seen a number of guys fail miserably his mind would be telling him that he would be rejected as well and that is a whole bunch of pain.
But he ignored his mind and the tension in his body and went for it anyway. He had a very strong “why”. In our example the man succeeded and spent the evening with the woman. It could have gone wrong for him as well of course – but the main thing to note here is that he took action because his “why” was so strong.
This guide is all about the power of finding your “why” and how to use this to get what you really want from life. If you set any goals and you don’t really know why you want to achieve them then you are in for a rough ride.
Maybe you are setting these goals because you have been influenced by others. Your friend is the same age and she is training to run a marathon. So why shouldn’t you do the same thing? If she can do it then you can do it. But your friend has a very strong “why” for running the marathon. You are just doing it because she is and you are not very likely to succeed.
Or perhaps you think that it is just the right thing to do. You have learned over the years that it is important to save money and not waste it on frivolous things. But you yearn for that new car and it is very tough for you to overcome this urge. It is a strong “why” and “doing the right thing” is very unlikely to stop you buying the car.
In the next chapter we will take a deeper look into the importance of your WHY…
Every day of your life you do certain things. When you get up in the morning you take a shower and brush your teeth. You go to work and do things that the company or organization wants you to do. When you return home of an evening you may eat some dinner, watch TV and then go to bed.
So think about this for a moment – you know “what” you do, and you know “how” to do it. But do you think “why” you do these things? Why do you have a shower every morning? Why do you brush your teeth? Why do you do certain things at work? Why do you watch TV when you return home?
Essentially the “what” and the “how” usually come pretty instinctively. The “how” part may require you to learn and practice but after a while this becomes an automatic thing to do. But what about “why” you do all of these things?
Sometimes the “why” is pretty obvious. If someone was to ask you “why do you shower in the mornings and brush your teeth in the morning?” you would probably answer “because you don’t want to be dirty and you want to smell nice”.
Other times the “why” is not so obvious. Why do you sit in front of the TV at night while other people are in the gym or socializing with others? If you really think about it then you may say that “ the TV relaxes you” or “it is something that I have always done”.
Doing things at work that you don’t enjoy doing is interesting. Most people will say “if I don’t do it I will get fired” which is a fair comment. But have you ever wondered why your employer asks you to do certain things? A lot of people will say that they really don’t care about this and all they want is their salary at the end of the month.Other Details
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