Table of Contents
Are You Self Serving
The Live And Let Live Mentality
Finding The Unity Mentality
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Chapter 2: Are You Self Serving
Look at yourself…. Can you tell whether you are self serving or not? Are you one of those people who do not care for others’ interest? Being selfish or too much concerned with just your needs, feelings and desires in life will definitely prevent you from building a harmonious relationship with others.
Selfishness will certainly prevent a person from having the willingness to work together with others. With selfishness, unity can’t be possible. Most people are not actually aware that they are selfish and perhaps, you are one of them.
So, how can you tell that you are self serving? Here are the six effective ways that can help you determine whether you are selfish or not:
• You like to be in control then you find it hard to compromise.
• You find it hard to give and share something you have.
• Putting the needs of others as your priority over your own needs is extremely difficult.
• You hear useful criticism as personal attacks.
• You tend to feel bad and your mood sudden change when your peers have the attention of everyone.
• You experience difficulties in forgiving someone who offended you.
It is very essential to see that being self serving is not the same as being mean-spirited or hostile. Egotism is not actually directed against others but, it is an erroneous way of making a person feels that he or she is more valuable or adequate.
Being self serving is not a trait that you can inherit from your father or mother but it is a behavior that can be learned by anyone. So, if you are self serving, you can do something to change it and improve yourself for better. You can use the daily interactions between you and others as opportunities to learn how to become less selfish. Make a mindful effort to change your mindset from “me first” to “we first”.
So at this time, can you already identify yourself as a self serving person? You should not be ashamed because you have this trait. It is not too late for you to improve yourself. Make a move today and start trying to make yourself a better person. As soon as you have learned how to be concerned with others’ needs and interests, you will start to appreciate the value of living with unity and cooperation.
Ways to Overcome Being Self Serving
People who care only for their needs concentrate on themselves. This particular attitude stops someone from experiencing how grateful it is to share, give and have quality and genuine relationships. Because of your attitude, working with others and interacting with people around you would be not easy for you to do. Being self serving prevents you from realizing the value of uniting to everyone. Learning that you have this kind of attitude is one crucial step to improving.
To overcome this negative attitude, you should follow these steps:
1. Change your current way of thinking and embrace changes that will make you a better person. To stop yourself from being self serving, you should focus your attention on the needs and interests of others and not only yours. From now on, you should try to learn how it feels to be helpful and sensitive to those people who are really in need of the help you can give. When you care only about yourself, it causes others to feel unsafe and uncared for.
2. You must try to understand the value of honoring people in contrasting to revering money or things. Learn that good relationships and people are more vital than to have material possessions.
3. Start being charitable especially to the needy and poor. You can extend your helping hand to these people through coordinating charities and organizations that are supporting your community. Giving time or money is one of ways to overcome selfishness. Why don’t you try to share some of your material possessions? You will surely enjoy that grateful feeling it can bring to you.
4. You need to become sensitive to those people who surround you. Discern who might be requiring your help and try to reach out to these people in a rightful and caring way. It will surely help you in keeping your focus off of yourself. This in the end will let you become a more healthy and whole person mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
Effective Cures for Being Self Serving
Selfishness is known to be a behavior characterized by how a certain individual views himself with regard to the external world. To start making yourself wanting to experience and enjoy the benefits of unity, you should start relieving yourself first and make yourself eager to be sympathetic and aware of others’ needs. You have to fight your attitude first before you can finally experience the essence of unity and its benefits. So, you must take into account the following:
Cures for Selfishness
It can help you uncover the main causes of selfishness so that you can come up with a corrective treatment plan. Traditional therapy would usually delve into your past experience to assist you understand the progression of your selfishness. Innovative therapy like balanced emotive attitude therapy is more focused on the recent and the way currently-held behaviors, attitudes and emotions are contributing to bad life actions.
This particular therapy will treat selfishness as a disorder that was driven by character satisfaction and it teaches you the importance of self-acceptance that is not quantified by success and money. Through accepting yourself without attaching some external conditions, you will lose your desire to obtain material wealth at the expense of people around you.
These books are usually written by those people who have struggled over the problem they are writing about. They are the ones who can provide non-judgmental and authoritative advice to someone who struggles with selfishness. Through illustrating samples based on their personal experiences, these authors particularly those who are eager to help people overcome selfishness could form a connection with someone who sees his or her self shown in the content of these books.
Usually, it is only when a self serving person reads about something that is exactly the same with his or her situation will be encouraged to start understanding his or her personal issues and how the problems can be solved. To overcome your problem, you must start looking for these books today and let these authors teach you and guide you towards overcoming selfishness.
To find spirituality is a remedy for being self serving for the reason that most religions depend on selflessness and in the happiness one can feel when serving others. For instance, Buddhism is based on the concept of attaining the transcendent condition of Nirvana which is the life tree of desire, suffering and selfishness.
Meanwhile, Christianity demands that a person to surrender his or her spirit and will to Jesus Christ while serving God through showing some qualities like joy, love, peace, kindness and patience. A person who is selfish and commits herself to a spiritual life might find that she can’t sustain her old behavior which will lead to actions which are centered on assisting others.
Although some reasons why people prefer to have kids might be deemed selfish, usually, parenting will still be an effective treatment for selfishness especially in the formative years of a child. Good parenting demands a commitment of resources and energy and limits the amount of extra time a person should devote to his or her self.
To take care of a baby is a selfless act and it often comes with some transitory rewards until the child starts to interact and grow. It is not suggesting that good parents are the perfect ones and are always able to make correct decisions. But, to become a parent will require a person to do self-sacrifice and may go a long way to relieving selfishness.
These remedies will certainly help you a lot in addressing your problem. You won’t have any regrets for trying to apply them on your case. Backup them with confidence. Believe in yourself that you can make a change in your attitude, not only for your own good but for the benefit of others.Other Details
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